Mr.Twit

This is a story of Mr. and Mrs.Twit. 

Mr. Twit was very hairy-faced man and he was a twit.

He had a lot of hair on his face like bush and he had never cleaned his hair.

His disgusting beard always had some crumb of food that he had eaten before.

He had not a good appearance but he was also a horrid man. 

Mrs. Twit.

Mrs.Twit was no better than her husband. She hadn't hairy face like her husband but she had an ugly face.

She wasn't that ugly on her yonger age. But she had bad mindsets and thoughts so the older she got, the uglier she got.

If she wasn't mean, she might be nice than that.

She always carry her walking-stick when she went out house. She told people that she had a hard lump on her leg and she felt pain when she walks but the truth was that she carried her walking-stick to hit dogs,cats and children. 

Glass eyeball

Mr.Twit and Mrs.Twit used to trick each other. Since everyday Mr.Twit tricked a mean trick at her, she sometimes revenged for it .

Mrs.Twit had a glass eye on one of her eye socket.

One morning, she took out her glass eye and put it into Mr.Twit's glass of beer. Even that moment, he was planning of tricking his wife.

"You must be plotting something mean. I always watching you." she said.

When he drank all his beer of the mug, he saw the awful eyeball of his wife staring at him in the bottom of the mug.

It made him jump out of the chair.

"I told you I always watching you. You better be careful when you plotting mean things for me." she said.

Frog trick

To pay for the eyeball, Mr.Twit planned he would put a frog on her bed. He caught a frog from the near pond, and put it in her bed.

When she got into bed, she felt some slimy thing and she shouted and needed help to her husband.

But Her husband just frightened her of telling that it was definitely monster I just missed and it will bite off your toes and nose.

She fainted and she had to ran away from the bed when she woke up.

Wormy Spaghetti

To pay for the frog trick, Mrs.Twit made up her mind to revenge for him. She caught some worms from the garden near the house and took them into the kitchen. She cooked spagetti for lunch and mixed worms in with the spagetti for his plate.

Mr.Twit said his spaghetti moving and she told him that it was a brand new spaghetti and it could move itself and delicious and he would rather eat them when it was warm.

After he ate them up, he said it was so squishy and bitter that he want another one next time. She was very delightful seeing him to eat worm spaghetti.

And she told him that you must have felt squishy and bitter because it was worm. Then she started stamping and clapping with her laughter.

Shrinking disease

To revenge for the worm trick, Mr. Twit came up with a brilliant idea. Every night after Mrs.Twit went to bed, he went down to the downstairs. And he stuck a very thin ring of wood at the bottom of Mrs.Twit's walking stick which she always carries when she was getting out. And every night he added very thin layer to the walking stick, the stick grew longer everyday. But the growth was so little, she couldn't notice it at all.

When the stick grew halfway up to her sholder, she felt something strange but she couldn't notice what's the problem was. She just said the stick must have grown all of a sudden.

Then he said "Don't be a fool. The walking stick can't grow because it was dead wood. You have shrunken for some times and I have been noticing it was you that have shrunken. Take a look at your walking stick. You have got the shrinks."

Mrs.Twit felt trembly that she sat down on her chair that she used to sit. Mr.Twit was so clever that he hadn't forgotten about other things like the chair. He had done the same trick to the chair just as her walking stick. He had been adding a little bit of wooden ring on the end of each legs of the chair. And he told her that she must've shrunk bacause her leg was much higher than before when she sat.

She was so frightened but he added some terrible words.

"Your head will shrink into your body. and your body would shrink into your legs. And your legs would shrink into your feet. And at the end of the day, You would vanish just lefting your shoes and clothes. She cried and asked him for help. He acted like accept that offer but it was a his plan.

He suggested her to stretch her body because her disease was to shurink. He already had everything ready outdoors. He got a hundred of ballons and strings.

He tied her body to the balloons with the strings and her ankles to the ground. 

At first, He thought he would leave her for a couple of days to teach her a lesson. But she was so afraid of breaking strings tying her ankle. And that gave him a second nasty idea. He took out a knife and really cut the strings. Then she went up high like a rocket. And he satisfied that he lost he forever.

Mrs.Twit came up with a good idea and she started bite to cut the strings holding a hundred of balloons. The more the strings cut, the speed of going up went slower. As she cut the strings, she began to slow down and then get down. She didn't cut all the strings. If she did that, she would fall down fastly.

When she got down enough to see his nasty husband drinking his beer to celebrate, she shouted at him with her anger. Before he ran away, she got him and cracked him all over his body.

The House, the Tree and the Monkey Cage

They had done that disgusting things to each other, but that's not the whole story. They had their house and garden. And there was a big cage of monkey and a big dead tree. Mrs.Twit grew a lot of spiky plants around their garden to keep avoid children nearby. She hated children. There was four monkeys in the cage. They belonged to Mr.Twit.

Sticky glue on the dead tree

Mr. and Mrs.Twit had a terrible taste. They liked Bird Pie. To enjoy the Bird Pie, they painted very sticky glue on the dead tree. The glue was so sticky that every bird sitting on the glue couldn't escape. 

Every Wednesday was the Bird Pie day. So Mr.Twit put the ladder againt the dead tree and climb up the tree and painted the very powerful sticky glue on the top of all the branches. After the sun went down, birds flew to the tree and their feet were stuck tightly. And next morning Mr.Twit got there and he got them all then Mrs.Twit cook them. They all went into the pot for Wednesday's Bird Pie supper.

Poor monkeys had to be upside down forever

The four monkeys in Mr.Twit's cage were one family. Father monkey, mother and his two children. Mr.Twit was a tamer in the circus and he had a dream of the first upsidedown monkey. The monkeys had to work hard to accomplish his awkward dream. They had to be upside down all day long. They had to dance, play football, balance, drink, eat and everything to do upside down. The monkeys felt miserable. Sometimes two small children fainted because their blood went away from their head too much. If they didn't do that well, he bit them severely. So they longed to esacape from the horrible cage and go back to their African jungle where they came from. They hated Mr. and Mrs.Twit.

And they suffered to see that poor birds trapped by sticky glue on the dead tree. Every tuesday they shouted at the birds to keep them away from that dangerous tree but it was no use. The birds couldn't understand their words because the monkeys spoke African and the birds were English.

One day a Roly-Poly Bird came up about the tree and he was from Africa. The bird was from African and so he could understand the languages the monkey spoke. The monkeys warned the bird that the dead tree was dangerous. As the bird could speak English as well, the Roly-Poly bird warned all the birds around that the dead tree was dangerous.

No birds anymore for Mr.Twit

Mr.Twit couldn't catch birds anymore. First wednesday, he saw all the birds sat on the cage instead of the dead tree. And then he painted the deadly glue on the top of the cage but it was no use. The monkeys still could warn to the Roly-Poly Bird and the bird could warn to the other birds.

The Twirts to go off to buy guns.

Mr.Tiwt decided to buy guns and shoot all the birds. He ordered the monkeys to stand upside down and went off.

But the father monkey had a good plan. He asked the Roly-Poly bird to bring the cage key from the house. He remembered where the key was.